But he had no future, and he knew that. He had come here to find a family he had never known. He had come here to escape a life filled with pain, loneliness and uncertainty. He had come here to find himself, while he still had the chance. And he succeeded in doing every one of these things. But none of it was for him. It was all for her.
He cradles her and thinks aloud:
What is about the beach that makes us think that it will just wash away all of our problems, all our concerns, all of fears?
Under the palm tree, holding his daughter, his brain begins to hemorrhage. He looks at the sleeping baby, and then out into the ocean, and finally up to the sun. The light blinds his eyes. He sees himself walking with a young, teenage girl, barefoot in the sand, their hands clasped tightly together. He sees his brother walking ahead of them in the distance. He's reminded of a dream he had once. A dream he used to have all the time; the most beautiful dream of them all. A dream so real it was like a memory. And in this moment, his life fading away like the sun in front of him, he realizes what that dream was about.
As he lay dying, he smiles.
He closes his eyes and drifts away. Like all those times before when he wished he would never wake up. But now, the only thing he wants is to stay awake forever and be with his daughter. But he can't. Not right now.
He falls asleep. The world turns black.
And then nothing.
Years go by. The world changes. Time moves forward and life goes on.
And still he sleeps.
And he dreams.
And he remembers.
And though he lies there dead to the outside world, he is very much alive inside, remembering his life; the good and the bad; the pain and the happiness. He remembers his dreams. Reality and fantasy blur together to the point that he cannot differentiate between the two. This foggy pseudo-reality plays in an endless loop inside his mind for what seems like eternity. And during each cycle, he knows not where he is or where he is going, but he knows it's a journey he must take every time. It all pours into his head randomly; memories that were not really memories and dreams that only seemed like memories.
He begins to see things he has never seen before. He sees the inside of hospital room. He hears a teenage girl talking to him. He feels the presence of love for the first time in what seems like forever.
But most astonishing of all, he sees glimpses of a future life. A future he always wanted. A future where he is happy. A future that he never thought was possible.
A future that one day, years later, he will finally have.
The sun sets. The tide washes ashore. The waves of the ocean crash inside a sea of waking dreams. And in the distance, a brother watches as a baby girl sleeps with her father underneath a palm tree.
This was the past. This is the present. This will be the future.
- B
"Your future is as boundless as the lofty heaven."
- ancient Chinese fortune cookie
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